I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
