Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
