theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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