Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
