does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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