The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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