I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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