Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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