3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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