That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
