office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
