I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
