Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
