Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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