Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
