you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
