I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
