Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He better not be in your backpack
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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