awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
