I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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