haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
