no, he came in my armpit
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
