these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I understand Curling. That high.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
