So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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