Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
