I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He passed out mid-signature
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
