I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
