Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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