i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
