i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Boobs are out for the taking
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
