I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i think i have herpe
just one?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
