My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
