are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
