whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
