You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
