I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
