Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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