i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
