I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
