Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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