my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
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