So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
