so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
