You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
