thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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