I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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