last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
