you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
