Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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