doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
